For Devin (Classmate)
Devin,
In your project you discussed the advantages and disadvantages of cutting the umbilical cord at a certain time. Directly after the baby is delivered or waiting a few minutes and cutting it then.
I liked that you focused on our unit’s main idea which is that practices we consider normal are actually very weird and in this case, incorrect. I liked that you argued both points of the spectrum and even though you sided with the umbilical cord not being cut immediately, you left the reader room for them to decide on their own as to which one they preferred. I also liked that you added a bit of experiential side to your academic project by informing a mother and a mother-to-be about the cutting of the umbilical cord and I think their responses summed up how the common people in this country think.
Your project was important to me because I consider myself above what I describe to be as the common people, yet I did not know about the risks and benefits of cutting the umbilical cord at different times. If I ever plan on having kids, I will definitely think about this and instruct my partner’s OB/GYN to cut the umbilical cord after a couple of minutes. And when s/he is cutting the cord, or if get to cut the cord, I might be thinking of you and your project. And to stick in someone’s memory as an influential person, especially in mine, is a true accomplishment. Good Job.
I think your speech was best in the class and I feel bad for the people who did not get to hear it. Your props with Stewie and the model placenta were very creative. Keep up the good work and make sure you make SoF proud when you’re in Cornell.
For Sarah Tornay (Writing Group)
Sarah,
In your project you decided to research about the risks of VBACs and a mother doing a C-Section every time she gives birth. You used a lot of statistics to back up your main idea and successfully informed the reader (me) on what the risks are of a VBAC and “once a C-Section, always a C-Section”.
I liked that you focused on something that is extremely controversial which drew me in when I started reading your blog post. I also liked that you used many statistical evidence to argue the risks and advantages of both VBACs and C-Section-every-time deliveries. Your project is important to me because it informed me on subjects I had little prior knowledge about. Now I will be able to argue with “educated” folk about which is more dangerous.
To make your project better, I would make it clearer as to what VBAC stands for. You mentioned it in the post, but I don’t think it was clear enough. I knew what it meant because I read Tina Cassidy’s “Birth” but the common people might be confused or lost and as what the common people do when they are confused, they stop. You don’t want your reader to stop reading your paper or read your entire paper while confused.
All in all, a good post. An advice for the next project you do; try and do something experiential so you feel as if you are physically active with your project instead of just doing it for a class grade.
For Johnny (Writing Group)
Johnny,
In your project you decided to look at alternatives of raising a child. The two alternatives you chose to look at were abortion and adoption.
I liked that for your project, you did not just use a random source from the internet. You actually read a book and gathered evidence to support your argument. Most high school teenagers wouldn’t do that.
To make your project better, I would suggest you use your words carefully. I know that sounds mean but I mean it in the kindest way possible. In your post you used the phrase, “kill the baby”, that is a heavy line. Abortion is a very delicate and controversial topic and like Andy said, “always talk about abortion as if someone in the room has had one.”
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From Mentor (Father)
I am glad you selected a topic from which you are learning about birth process, it was most appealing to me that your instinct motivated you to visit the PATH in the Bronx. I liked your interest as you mentioned "The lack of information on PATH made it even more important for me to visit them." In fact most of the researchers get their information from primary sources and you hit the right place.
I would suggest you do not limit yourself questioning only one person who definitely has good amount of information, few mothers in PATH or any other place could be your good source of information. If they allow, you should try to get more information from PATH mothers. It is always better to develop a sound questionnaire to collect data/information so that you can collect some quantifiable data with some open ended questions.
At the end, I must say you gathered some valuable information which may lead you to further explore on the topic. Well done, all the best.
From Protege (Davendra)
I like how you obtained your information. The fact that you actually went to the organization themselves, and interviewed Mr.C shows a good dedication to your work. Also your getting more in depth info than what you can find around. I my self have never been in the situation of these mothers, however I imagine that it is not a great situation. I believe what PATH is doing is great because there are many in that type of situation, that can be assisted and inspired by what PATH does.
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From Devin (Classmate)
You asked yourself what the government does to help poverty stricken pregnant women in New York City and then you visited an office in the Bronx of an organization called PATH, which you found out a little about online.
I really liked the way you describe the look and feeling of the office at the entrance making the point of how unwelcoming it must be to a poor pregnant woman coming there. But then you contrast this with the happy looking women who were staying there, making it seem like a good place overall. It seemed amazing when Mr.C said that PATH has an 100% success rate helping mothers to support themselves finnancially and not need temporary housing again.
The work PATH does is really important. These are babies, ones born to poor single moms, who are most likely to drop out of school and not have a chance of making a good life for themselves. They need to be brought into the society not made to feel like outcasts.
Myy only suggestion would have to be to ask what kind of jobs the mothers got so that they could be independent and not need temporary housing. But maybe he would not have wanted a direct question like that. I think you did a great job describing this visit and making it interesting.
